It can sometimes come as a shock for some parents, who have a child that has always been relatively well behaved at home, for them to turn into completely different children after starting school. Kids who are getting rave reviews from their teachers saying how well behaved and hard working they are come home and turn into Tasmanian devils, so to speak.
What is causing your child to all of a sudden go from mild tempered to out of control? It is a phenomenon called after school restraint collapse. This is when kids hold it together all day long and then get home where they feel safe and let out all their true emotions. You should feel pleased your child finds you and your home to be their safe place. It can also be very hard to navigate these new big emotions especially if you never have had to do so before.
After school restraint collapse can happen to any aged school child. It can even happen to younger children who are in daycare for long periods of time. It is most common in younger school aged children. It can last up to the pre-teen and teenage years for some children. It really depends on the disposition of the child. Children who are more sensitive or more intense have a higher likelihood of suffering from after school restraint collapse. Kids who have trouble learning or trouble with social skills are also at a higher risk. One thing to remember about after school restraint collapse, it is not your child trying to test the boundaries and see what they can get away with. Your child is having a meltdown.
Signs & Symptoms
After school restraint collapse will look different for different children. Some children may have emotional outbursts. They may be weepy, scream, become angry, or throw things. Increased irritability can also be a sign, where your child is rude, or hateful to siblings or parents. Some children may suffer from fatigue. This is different from normal tiredness. This is fatigue that is unusually tired, where some children may want to nap after coming home from school. Unresponsiveness can occur, where your child doesn’t want to engage at all to anyone or anything. Hyperactivity or your child’s need to bounce off the walls. Any of these or a combination of these can be signs your child is having an after school restraint collapse.
Causes
Why does this collapse happen? School for kids can be anywhere from 6-8 hours away from home, five days a week. That is a lot of time away from their safe place as well as their parents. While at school they are learning how to deal with expectations, disappointments, and challenges without you with them. This can be a lot for them to deal with on a daily basis.
Not only that, kids who are trying to hold in all their energy to listen, and behave will eventually need to release all the energy that has been building up. Kids can be too tired and overstimulated to be able to handle anything else at the end of their day too.
Response
As a parent it can be hard to know what you should do when your child is having a full out meltdown. The most important thing for you to do as a parent is to remain calm during the meltdown. Make sure your child is safe and cannot harm anyone else and sometimes the best thing to do is letting them release all the emotions they have in a safe way. It is important to try to not take their meltdowns personally. This can be hard. Figuring out what your child needs at the end of the day can also be beneficial in helping them manage or lessen their meltdowns.
Does your child need quiet, movement, a snack, or connection time with you? Some kids may need space to unwind and have a moment to be by themselves. A short TV show can give a child a moment to space out into something outside of their reality.
Making sure your child has a healthy balanced snack can help regulate their blood sugar as well as boost their mood. Offering them some healthy snacks as soon as they are home, or even in the car for the drive home can help. Omega-3 fatty acids, iron, and zinc are beneficial for brain function and mood regulation.
Purium’s Epi-Genius Family combines multiple supplements including protein, healthy fats and zinc into one easy-to-prepare chocolate creamy shake. This can be a great after school nutritious treat that gets blood sugar and moods rebalanced.
Allow them to have time to decompress before you have to do the next thing, like homework or after school activity. Give them time to run around on a playground or in the back yard to get out all the energy and big motor movements they have been holding in all day, especially for the naturally wiggly kids. Create time for connection between you and your child. This can be reading a book, snuggling, quick games in the morning or evening, or even sitting down for meals together and talking about your days. Your child may be missing you, while at school, making sure you show them that they are loved and still cared for by you can be important.
In some cases meltdowns may become severe or persistent. If they are affecting your daily life where homework or after school activities are being disrupted. Your child is showing signs of anxiety or depression. If school seems to be affecting their sleep or appetite. As a parent if you are feeling overwhelmed by the meltdowns and the after school restraint collapse, you need to reach out to a doctor for some help.
READ MORE: After-School Restraint Collapse
Sources:
https://www.specialstrong.com/foods-that-positively-impact-behavior/
https://bgclub.org/news/how-to-handle-afterschool-meltdowns-this-back-to-school-season/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20593157231
https://www.todaysparent.com/kids/school-age/after-school-restraint-collapse-is-a-real-thing-heres-how-to-deal-with-it/
https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/z863cxs#zbt36rd
https://robertsacademy.org/understanding-after-school-restraint-collapse-what-it-is-and-how-to-help-your-child/









