If you want to be more confident, you have to be willing to put in the work and perform at a high level. Just like you wouldn’t expect to see results from working out one time, you also won’t see results from building confidence overnight. You have to be willing to put in the time and effort to see the results you want.
This article provides ways to improve self-confidence and achieve more.
According to Bénabou & Tirole (2002), self-confidence is defined as a belief in oneself. Similarly, The Psychology Dictionary Online describes it as a person’s trust in their abilities, capacity, and judgment. In other words, self-confidence is the ability to face various day to day challenges successfully.
Self-confidence is not just something that some people are born with, it is also not just a reflection of what you are capable of. It is a learned belief system about what you can or cannot achieve. You have control over it, it is a product of the thoughts you have about yourself.
This means that if you want to be more confident, you need to start thinking more positive thoughts.
Self-confidence is a very important thing because it can help determine how successful you are. It is important to try and improve self-confidence because our thoughts often influence our actions.
Boosting Your Self Confidence
Ok, so now that you have a good understanding of what self-confidence is and why it’s important, the question is how can you boost your self-confidence? Here are techniques to help:
1. Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
Dr. Ivan Joseph, who has received the Coach of the Year award six times, shares some tips on how to boost self-confidence in a 2014 Ted Talk.
The Director of athletics at Ryerson University describes how a 6 foot 3 goalie from Colombia, South America would duck to the ground whenever a ball was thrown his way.
Dr. Ivan suggested that the goalie practice kicking the ball into a wall and catching it 350 times a day for eight months. As a result of this practice, the goalie’s hands became calloused and he became a professional player. He is now drafted to play in Europe.
According to Dr. Ivan, the massive boost in self-confidence for this player is a result of repetition. He believes that confidence is only possible when a task has become routine and simple.
Dr. Ivan believes that in order to excel in any task, you must put in 10,000 hours of deliberate practice. This is known as the 10,000-hour rule and was first explained by Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers.
-> Dr. Ivan says that if one of his players loses self-confidence, the whole team will suffer. He believes that self-confidence is the most important skill anyone can bring to his team.
Remember to persist and never give up. The best way to boosted your self-confidence is to keep practicing, and never give up or take no for an answer- even from yourself. Start by practicing by yourself, in front of an audience of just you. Then, as you start to feel more confident, move on to performing in front of larger groups. And finally, go on to performing for your intended audience. Remember to always persist, and never give up.
Confidence does not come naturally for many people, but it is something that can be learned. So, if you want to be more confident, put in the effort.
2. Fail Up
Samuel Beckett was a Nobel laureate who coined the phrase “fail-up.” To fail-up is to learn and grow from the experiences brought on by failure. Failure and growth are essential parts of failing-up.
In her book Why Not Me, Primetime Emmy Award winner Mindy Kaling says that your fear of failure is a reasonable sign of inexperience. She says that confidence is something you need to earn, and is comparable to respect.
Don’t let fear hold you back from doing what’s important to you. Challenging your fears is the only way to overcome them. Success is attainable if you don’t give up.
Several innovative companies today go the extra mile to encourage their employees to take risks and learn from their failures. Some even have a failure of the year award for a team or individual who goes for a great idea that doesn’t pan out.
Some companies issue their employees “get out of jail free” cards at the start of the year to encourage them to take risks and be creative, knowing that they won’t be punished if they fail.
You can only improve your situation by taking risks, rather than being content with a mediocre life brought on by a lack of self-confidence.
3. Have Grit
The book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth, is about having passion, persistence and courage to achieve your goals.
Angela, a psychologist and author who specializes in academic success, believes that grit is a better predictor of success than talent or intelligence. She believes that grit is more important than talent or intelligence in predicting success.
You can teach yourself to see your decisions through, no matter how little self-confidence you feel, by being persistent, passionate, and courageous.
If you push through the things that make you uncomfortable, you will become a stronger person, and eventually you will have a record of accomplishments to show for it.
4. Fight the Impostor Syndrome
Intellectual self-doubt is also known as the imposter syndrome. This self-confidence phenomenon, described by Dr. Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance in 1976, makes people with low self-confidence feel like fraudsters.
The impostor syndrome is when you think you’re not good enough or that any success you’ve had is just because you got lucky. This can lead to loss of self-confidence.
So how do you deal with the impostor syndrome?
According to Dr. Ivan, there are too many people in the world who are willing to put you down. He advises that you become the “captain of your ship and the master of your fate” instead of letting them control you.
Affirm Yourself Daily
Write a letter to yourself during good times, stating your accomplishments and thanking yourself for a job well done. Include things you are proud of that you have achieved, no matter how small. re-read this letter during tough times as a reminder of your past successes and to give yourself a boost of confidence.
To combat impostor syndrome, focus on your strengths and remind yourself of your accomplishments often. Muhammad Ali is a great example of the power of positive self-talk – he became one of the greatest athletes of all time by constantly repeating to himself that he was the best.
Visualize Your Success
If you can imagine it, then it is more likely to occur. This is similar to the Law of Attraction which states that if you focus on positive thoughts then positive things will happen.
Making a vision board of what success looks like to you can help you stay positive throughout the day. Checking in on your board regularly can help increase your self-confidence.
Michael Jordan was always confident in his ability to make the game-winning shot, even before he stepped on the court. This didn’t stop him from experiencing failure, though. He famously said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Michael was confident he would succeed, so his earlier failures didn’t prevent him from achieving future success.
5. Learn Something New
Please sign up for an evening class. You may also enjoy reading a book or taking an online course about a topic you are interested in learning more about.
Keeping your mind active by learning new things is a great way to stretch your abilities and improve your confidence.
6. Ask Your Partner or a Friend What You Can Do For Them
You can make yourself feel better by helping someone with a task they don’t enjoy or have enough time for. Helping others will boost your sense of self-worth.
7. Hit the Gym
The positive physical effects from working out at the gym will make you feel great.
There have been many studies showing that regular workouts at the gym can improve your mental health and make you feel better about yourself.
8. Go to a Networking Event
Rather than focusing on your own anxieties, focus on how you can help others. Instead of going to events with the intention of selling yourself, why not change your perspective and go to see how you can help the people you meet?
This will make you seem calm, confident, and like someone people would want to go to for help often.
9. Get Clear on the Things That Matter to You
What are the things most important to you? Family, travel or work?
For example, it your work is important to you but you find your daily work routine very dull, you can do something about it to make it more fun. Turn data entry into personal speed contests, paper filing into “screen-free” time, and interactions with your colleagues into enjoyable conversations.
10. Remove Negativity From Your Life
What things are you tolerating in your life? How can you remove, minimize, or diminish each one?
Negativity can makes us doubt our worth. If you are around people who are always putting you down or diminishing who you are, you need a new support group. A good support group will help you stay positive, keep a realistic perspective and keep you confident that you can succeed.
11. Celebrate Your Big and Small Wins
Examine the accomplishments you have made, both large and small, and give yourself credit for your contributions.
Recognizing your achievements is not egotistical, it’s healthy.
12. Converse With New People
Talk to a stranger to uncover hidden gems. You can build confidence by breaking outside of your normal social situations at your workplace. This will help you learn how to be confident.
13. Do Something You Would Normally Say No To
The next time you talk yourself out of doing something, go and do it anyway. This is a great way to boost personal development.
14. Do One Thing Each Day That Makes You Smile
Thanking a colleague for their help or leaving a surprise present for your partner are both simple ways to make someone’s day. Making someone else happy will help you realize your importance in helping the world be a better place to live.
We all need to make an effort to keep life light, loving and fun, rather than dull and difficult.
15. Give Yourself Good Advice
Try to identify the patterns of thought that make you doubt yourself or overthink things.
If your best friend experienced the same thought process and held themselves back, what would you say to them?
We often have more success solving other people’s problems than our own, a phenomenon known as “Solomon’s Paradox.” The next time you face a problem, challenge yourself and take your own good advice.
16. Ask Someone on a Date
If you’re attracted to someone and you’re single, ask them out. Even if the person you ask says no, it’s a good opportunity to practice being confident. And who knows? They might say yes.
17. Write Down 20 Things That Make You Feel Good
Start by brainstorming a list of things you’re grateful for in your life. These can be people, possessions, experiences, or anything else that brings you happiness. Once you have your list, take some time to write down why you’re grateful for each item.
I recommend writing a list of 20 things that are important to you at least once a month. And most importantly—make sure you’re giving those things plenty of room in your life.
18. Stop Playing Different Roles
Don’t try to be someone you’re not just to please others. Be yourself and don’t try to fit into any pre-determined mold.
In order to be successful, it is important that you be true to yourself and do what you love. It is easy to find what you are good at and what you enjoy by looking at your hobbies and the things you like to do with your friends.
If you are genuine in your work life, others will respond to you positively. This positivity will boost your self-confidence and propel you to being more authentic.
19.Never Beat Yourself up for Failing
Life is never just one big happy thing. It’s more like a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs. So hang in there during the tough times.
To live well, you must be able to deal with whatever comes your way. The best way to do this is to have a strong core and realistic self-confidence that is not affected by the chaos of the world around you.
READ MORE: How To Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety