From Instagram, to TikTok, to X (formerly Twitter), our society is becoming more self-focused at an ever increasing rate. We have more access to each other than ever before—each of us carrying a phone at all times with countless ways to communicate—yet many of us feel less genuine connection than ever. While we obsess over likes, followers, and engagement metrics, we’re spending far less time interacting in meaningful ways that shift our focus to others rather than ourselves.
This trend continues to accelerate, and it’s doing us no favors when it comes to mental and emotional health. Years of increased screen time and reduced face-to-face interaction have taken their toll. Our replacement of in-person conversations with virtual ones isn’t just making us more isolated and self-absorbed—in some measurable ways, we’re also becoming less socially intelligent.
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence, often abbreviated as EQ or EI, refers to our ability to recognize, understand, manage, and effectively use emotions—both our own and those of others. Unlike IQ, which measures cognitive abilities, emotional intelligence encompasses a different set of skills that are equally critical for navigating life successfully.
The concept was popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman in the 1990s, who identified five key components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. These elements work together to determine how well we handle ourselves and our relationships with others.
These all-important, real, meaningful social interactions are what help us develop a higher level of emotional intelligence, which could arguably be the most valuable kind of intelligence there is. Not only does emotional intelligence play a pivotal role in our personal lives and relationships, but it also plays an enormous role in our career success.
The Science Behind EQ and Success
Research consistently shows that emotional intelligence directly impacts earning potential—individuals with higher EQ scores tend to earn significantly more than their peers. Studies have found that for every point increase in emotional intelligence, annual salary increases by approximately $1,300. Not only that, but approximately 90% of top-performing employees demonstrate high levels of emotional intelligence.
What makes this particularly interesting is that EQ often matters more than IQ in predicting success. While a baseline level of cognitive intelligence is necessary for most professional roles, once that threshold is met, emotional intelligence becomes the differentiating factor. People with average IQs outperform those with high IQs 70% of the time, largely due to their superior emotional skills.
Emotional Intelligence in Leadership
The most effective leaders also rank high on the emotional intelligence scale. These leaders engage authentically with their teams. They motivate and encourage people to exceed their own expectations. This leads to better employee retention, higher productivity, and more creativity within organizations.
Leaders with high EQ create psychological safety within their teams—an environment where employees feel comfortable taking risks, asking questions, and admitting mistakes without fear of punishment. This culture of openness drives innovation and helps organizations adapt quickly to changing market conditions.
Consider the difference between a manager who responds to a team member’s mistake with frustration and blame versus one who approaches it with curiosity and support. The emotionally intelligent leader asks, “What can we learn from this?” rather than “How could you let this happen?” This approach not only preserves the relationship but also encourages future transparency and problem-solving.
Building Your Emotional Intelligence
The good news is that unlike IQ, which remains relatively stable throughout life, emotional intelligence can be developed and strengthened at any age. Here are several evidence-based strategies for improving your EQ:
Practice self-reflection. Set aside time each day to examine your emotional responses. What triggered strong feelings? How did you react? What might you do differently next time? Journaling can be particularly effective for this practice.
Seek feedback actively. Ask trusted colleagues, friends, or family members for honest input about how you come across in different situations. Be open to hearing perspectives that might challenge your self-perception.
Develop active listening skills. When conversing with others, focus entirely on understanding their perspective before formulating your response. This means putting away distractions, making eye contact, and asking clarifying questions.
Expand your emotional vocabulary. Many people struggle to articulate their feelings beyond basic terms like “good,” “bad,” “happy,” or “sad.” Learning to identify and name more nuanced emotions—such as feeling overwhelmed, apprehensive, or gratified—helps you better understand and manage your internal states.
The Workplace Impact
Naturally, this kind of emotionally intelligent company culture translates to better customer relationships and stronger profits. Organizations that prioritize EQ in their hiring and development practices consistently outperform their competitors.
Companies like Google, Microsoft, and Amazon have invested heavily in emotional intelligence training for their leaders and teams. They recognize that technical skills alone don’t drive sustainable success—it’s the human element that makes the difference.
In customer-facing roles, emotional intelligence is particularly crucial. Employees who can read customer emotions, respond with empathy, and manage their own stress during difficult interactions create loyalty that no marketing campaign can match.
Moving Forward
At the end of the day, regardless of your level of education or IQ, emotional intelligence is what drives the ship forward and creates lasting success. In a world increasingly dominated by artificial intelligence and automation, our uniquely human capacity for emotional connection becomes even more valuable.
The investment you make in developing your emotional intelligence pays dividends across every area of life—from deeper personal relationships to accelerated career growth. Start small, be patient with yourself, and remember that every meaningful interaction is an opportunity to practice and improve.
