Peter Pan Syndrome

Society gives us landmarks of progression through life. There are key markers of adulthood that push you into owning new responsibilities and enforce your stability in adulthood. These would be things like marriage, home ownership, and parenthood. Each gives you a gradual nudge deeper into adulthood where you learn to be responsible not only for yourself, but for the family unit as well. There is a psychiatric syndrome that is called the Peter Pan syndrome. It is a term psychiatrists use to describe someone who hasn’t grown up, just like the make believe character of Peter Pan.

Peter Pan syndrome describes people who have difficulty entering adult life. They may find it hard to keep commitments, maintain employment, do chores, spend money wisely, or keep up with responsibilities that come with adulthood. Character traits of someone with Peter Pan syndrome are inappropriate emotions, fear of loneliness, reliance on others, avoidance of criticism, or being self centered. A person with this syndrome may be thought of as immature. Their behavior in social, ideologies, or traits may all show immaturity.

Risks & Causes

This syndrome is more common in men. The exact cause of this syndrome is unknown. In some cases the way the adult is parented in their younger years seem to play a role. The two types of parenting ways that tend to lead to Peter Pan syndrome are protective parents, and permissive parents. These are on opposite sides of the spectrum for parenting styles. Permissive parents have no boundaries, and show a child that it is ok to do what you want whenever you want. Not instilling any responsibility or understanding of responsibility. Protective parents can make a child feel like the adult world is frightening and too hard to be in which can make a child not want to grow up causing them to push off the responsibility of actually growing up. Protective parents may also fail to teach their children skills that can help them later on like budgeting or house cleaning trying to shelter them from anything that may be hard.

Markers

There are seven key markers in a person that has Peter Pan syndrome. The syndrome is on a spectrum. What might be severe in one person, may not even be a problem in someone else with this syndrome. Some people may be carefree, spontaneous, and playful even into adulthood, which is different then Peter Pan syndrome. Peter Pan syndrome involves not owning responsibilities.

One key marker is emotional paralysis, dulled emotions, or the inability to express emotions appropriately. This may be anger that is shown almost as a temper tantrum from an adult. Another marker is being a procrastinator or frequently late to everything. There may be social challenges such as being anxious, or having difficulty forming friendships or keeping them. Another marker is there will be a level of avoidance. This may be that the person avoids accountability, or blames others for mistakes they make instead of owning their mistakes. Female relationships may look more like mother figures than friendships or companionships. Men with Peter Pan syndrome may struggle with male authority figures. Romantic relationships may be formed with people who seem dependent on the other person, instead of healthy relationships.

Diagnosis

Peter Pan syndrome is more a set of behaviors. When seeing you or a loved one may suffer from Peter Pan syndrome look for patterns that make you avoid necessary parts of adulthood. These could be holding a job, taking care of errands or chores, or paying bills on time. If you notice that you have trouble with certain areas of adulthood, it may be that you aren’t willing to take responsibility for it.

People with Peter Pan syndrome may have low self esteem. Being able to help build confidence and self esteem can help you take back parts of adulthood that may make you anxious. Therapy may be key for someone with Peter Pan syndrome. They can make a non judgemental opinion and help you talk through ways to help overcome some of your distress. Being able to identify why you shy away from certain responsibilities can also be beneficial in correcting your behavior.

Outcomes

In this day and age with a new socioeconomic landscape many young adults feel like some aspects of adulthood are unattainable. Such as buying a house, since housing prices are astronomical. Getting married when so many people are focused on their degrees and careers. It can be hard to feel like you are moving forward in adulthood when the once common milestones seem out of reach. This can certainly make someone find themselves being stuck and revert them backwards into staying in more immature and childish ways. Figuring out your personal goals and purpose in life can help you take steps into achieving them as well as taking full responsibility in your adult life.