How to Make Sibling Room Sharing Work: Tips for Harmony and Space

Room sharing for your children can be done for a number of reasons. There may not be enough bedrooms, you may be using rooms as an office or guest bedroom, or you may want room share to facilitate sibling bonding. Whatever the reason, moving kids to share a bedroom can come with a lot of worry and anxiety. There are some tips and things you can consider to help room sharing go more smoothly.

One thing to make sure you know when having kids share a bedroom is that there will be nights where it doesn’t work. Whether this is because one of your children is going through a sleep regression, or someone is sick. Remember do not get discouraged. Make sure you have a backup plan in place when these times happen. Do you have a blow bed that can be put somewhere, or a port-a-crib for a younger child that can be in a different room. When adjusting your family to your children sharing rooms it is also ok for it not to go smoothly right off the bat. It can be a big adjustment for your children as well as the parents so take your time. If it gets too overwhelming take a step back and try again at a different time.

When is the perfect time to share a room? There is no perfect age to throw your children together and have it magically work. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to see if your youngest is ready to be moved into a room with an older sibling. Is your child between 4 months and 6 months of age? Is your baby only waking one time or sleeping through the night? Can your baby self soothe easily and independently? If you can answer yes to all of these then your baby may be ready to be moved into a sibling shared room. Around the 6 month age your baby will typically have an established sleep pattern. This isn’t true for all babies but it is for some. When transitioning avoid common sleep regression stages which are at the 4 month, 8-10 month, 12 month, and 18 month stages. These sleep regressions usually happen because big motor skills are being developed as well as your baby learning separation anxiety. It is best to either wait for your baby to no longer need feeding during the night, or when they have predictable feeds. Meaning you know when they are going to need to feed so you can minimize interruptions and noise for the other child in the room.

A great way to start room sharing is starting with two great sleepers. Room sharing will not magically fix another child’s sleep problems. It may create more, or make the current ones worse. This also includes a baby. Make sure your baby is a good sleeper before putting them in with an older sibling. When starting to share a room it can be helpful to put a younger child into the new room they are moving into without the older child in the room for a night or two. This will allow you to see how they do in the room before adding all the variables of another child in there with them. For your older child make it seem fun to have a sleepover in a guest bedroom, another room of the house, or on the couch. If the children that are going to be sharing a room are closer in age, it can be helpful to get the most sensitive sleeper acclimated to the bedroom before adding in the additional sibling.

Shared rooms does not mean shared sleep schedules. Children at different ages need different amounts of sleep. Your infant may need less night time sleep than a toddler because they have more daytime naps. Staggered bedtimes can be helpful in getting one child down to sleep before putting the other child in their bed. If you have staggered bedtimes make sure you have some rules in place so that the child coming to bed later knows they cannot be overly noisy and loud while their sibling is sleeping. Another rule that can be helpful to put in place is if one child wakes up before the other to teach them to not holler out for you. This can be a great time to introduce an “ok to wake” clock or light so older children know if it is ok for them to come out of their room and start their day without having to holler for you in the mornings. White noise machines can also help drown out noises made by each sibling in the night.

Children are more easily woken up in the morning hours. So it can be important to put the child who needs the most sleep to bed first. That way that child is getting their adequate amount of sleep if the second child may not need as much sleep but will wake up really early in the morning. Adjusting bedtimes may be needed when establishing shared rooms and what schedule works best so everyone gets the sleep they need. The first few nights of room sharing, everyone may not be getting all the sleep they need, but give it time it will get better and everyone will adjust.

There are lots of pros for your children to sleep share. It encourages sibling bonding, sharing, respecting boundaries, showing empathy, problem solving, and conflict resolution. The cons to room sharing are struggle with consistent sleep, increased bedtime stalling, and early morning wake ups. Whatever your reasons for having your children room share as long as it is what is best for your family then it will work out. You will need to give some time for an adjustment period. If after a few days or a week it does not seem to be getting easier, you may need to readjust your time frame of having your children share a room.